The Good with the Bad
by ioanhoratio
Summary: A D/L oneshot to Rush to Judgment


**The Good with the Bad**

**By: ioanhoratio**

**Spoilers: Rush to Judgment**

**So I was working on Selfish Pain when I came across this. It is my very first attempt at fanfiction. I wrote it right after **_**Rush to Judgment**_** aired and never dreamed it would see the light of day but I figured we have several long summer months a head of us with no new **_**CSI:NY**_** so what's the harm in posting it. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Special thanks to: madmush, fatkate, laurzz, kerber1920, CityCountryLife, JavaJunkie4evr, afrozenheart412, Dawni, Mellow girl, wildchild1214, julinka, LME, swfap88, suncalibeach04, gwen24 and Elja.**

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Danny turned the key and gently pushed the door open. His cop instincts kicked in as he tensed. His hall light was on. Danny didn't leave lights on. He felt his tension immediately ease as he glanced at the side table next to the door. He saw Lindsay's keys.

Danny smirked. He should have known. He liked it al dark when he slept. She liked at least one light left on, especially if he wasn't home yet. His girl was brave and tough but her past could still haunt her at times so Danny never complained about the light.

He wondered what was going on. Lindsay had told him she had something to take care of on her apartment's side of town and would just stay there tonight. They were practically living together but her lease wasn't up for another few weeks so she would stay there every now and again to keep things clean.

Danny slid his shoes off next to hers and tossed his jacket onto the couch. He softly walked up the hall to their room and peeked in. He really hoped that at 3:30 a.m. she was asleep. Mac had put her on a 9-5 rotation—well as close to a 9-5 rotation as a CSI could get—but by the end of the day she was always exhausted.

Danny peered around the door. There was enough light from the hall to show that she was fast asleep on his side of the bed. Lindsay only did that when she wanted him to wake her up when he got home. Danny's concern grew. He walked over to the bed and hunched down. He reached up and turned on the bedside lamp. Lindsay didn't stir—a testament to how tired she was.

Since she lay facing him he could clearly see the toll pregnancy was taking on her body. She normally slept snuggled under the covers but recently she had been having hot flashes and usually the first thing to go was the blanket. She had also taken a pair of his old sweats and cut the legs off to make a pair of sleeping shorts. He loved her legs and he loved those shorts. His eyes gazed appreciatively over her legs. He gave a slight grimace though when his gaze passed her ankles and toes. They were still slightly swollen from the day's exertions. Before Lindsay told him about the baby, the number of things he knew about pregnant women boiled down to a handful of clichés he'd seen on TV or in the movies. Now several "expectant" books and one pregnant girlfriend later he knew quite a bit and it scared the crap out of him. He tried to do everything he could to make it a little easier on Lindsay. The job and her stubbornness sometimes got in the way of that but it didn't keep him from trying.

One thing he did know was that pregnant women needed their sleep; plus he knew it was becoming more and more difficult for Lindsay to find a comfortable position. He was loathing waking her. However, Lindsay was trying to tell him something and he knew that they had allowed their inability to communicate with each other to nearly destroy them in the past. So in the wee hours of the morning he reached up and poked his pregnant girlfriend on the nose. She mumbled but didn't wake up. He poked again. She swatted his hand away. Finally he poked a third time and softly spoke her name.

Lindsay's eyes flew open. She looked confused and pissed off. 'Crap,' Danny thought, 'wrong move.'

Then her eyes focused on his face. She gave him a sleepy smile and he smiled back

"You're on my side of the bed," Danny observed.

"Yeah," came her quiet reply.

"Everything ok?" Danny asked when it became clear she wasn't going to say any more.

"Yeah," again the only thing she said.

"Montana, how long am I gonna have ta sit hunkered down like this? My knees are startin' to burn," Danny whined.

Lindsay stared at him for a moment. She reached up with her hand—the hand that moments ago had rested on their son or daughter—and gently touched his face; his nose, lips, eyes and cheek. Danny sat waiting until he saw the tear slip from her eye.

"Hey, come on now," he grabbed her hand, "Tell me what's goin' on. Here, scooch over." He gestured for her to move while still holding her hand.

"Danny, women as pregnant as I am don't scooch," she grumbled but did it anyway—rather ungracefully.

Danny lay down next to her, face to face. "Now talk," Danny commanded, "You can start by telling me how you wound up here. You told me you were gonna go to your apartment. What happened?"

"It's not that I don't want to tell you. It's just that every time I think about it I get emotional and it is hard to talk about without crying," Lindsay explained.

"So cry," Danny said simply.

She hesitated.

"Look," Danny tried again, "You obviously have somethin' goin' on that is effectin' you. If one of those effects is that you need to cry; then cry." Seeing the doubt on her face he continued, "And before you interrupt me I know you are strong. You don't have to convince me. I know cryin' ain't really your thing but it is not a sign of weakness. You know I won't think less of you. I'd be honored,"

She looked uncertain about his last statement.

"What I mean is, I know how strong and capable you are and I know how embarrassed you feel when you let someone see you cry but Lindsay you and I have to let each other experience life together. Please trust me to help you."

Lindsay looked into Danny's eyes and sighed, "Remember when I told you I had something to take care off today?" She asked him while playing with a button on his shirt.

"Yeah, the reason I was surprised to see ya when I got home," he answered.

"I thought…I thought I would feel better…but I didn't so I came here," she finished quietly.

"A'right. I gotta tell ya Montana I really didn't understand most of that except I think you came here to feel better?" his voice was laced with confusion and a little bit of hope.

She giggled, "Yeah I did."

They were silent for a moment.

"Lindsay?" he prompted.

"Vince Nelson's wife, she…" Lindsay cleared her throat, "We, Stella and I, had to ask her terrible questions about her husband. It was really hard. It felt wrong but what were we supposed to do? The evidence was telling us that this man had done some awful things. She wouldn't accept it. She told us that he was a regular guy and then she started listing off these things about him; things I'm sure drove her crazy when he was alive. Why would that stand out to her?" Lindsay paused trying to swallow down her emotions before continuing, "The fact that he would always forgot their anniversary or how he would sit in his underwear and watch sports or how he never took out the garbage."

Lindsay seemed lost in her own thought for a moment and then continued, "I took her white roses today. That's what she said he would give her to make up for forgetting their anniversary. I don't know…I just wanted to apologize and I wanted to feel better. I know it's selfish. I guess…" Lindsay stopped. Danny lay looking at her, waiting.

Finally Lindsay spoke again, "You swear a lot when you first wake up. You leave your jacket on the back of the couch every night. You will take an empty beer bottle to the kitchen and set it on the counter—not a foot away from the trash can. Why not just throw it away? Plus you are quite sexy and girls notice it. Which I know is not necessarily your fault, but you like it! You try and act cool but I can tell…

"Is there appoint to this Lindsay?" Danny interrupted, having no idea where her mind was.

"She missed those things too. She loved him so much that even what drove her nuts she missed. I would miss those things about you," Lindsay explained, "How is she going to do it? How is she going to wake up without him? Celebrate holidays? Go grocery shopping? How…he's gone…she's supposed to live without t him." Danny heard her voice break and watched her eyes fill with tears.

"Shh, Linds," Danny tried to comfort her.

"I don't want to ever miss those things. I don't want to try and live without you. Our job is high risk. I know that and I accept it but right now, right now it makes me sad. Right now with our baby growing inside me and all that comes with that—the hormones, the emotions, the physical side effects—I can't handle thinking about that kind of thing but with this case, this woman, it's all I can thing about right now," Lindsay was talking fast; her emotions and tears rushing out.

Danny finally understood. He knew this case had been hard on Lindsay. It happens; no matter how hard they all try sometimes a case just get to you, but Danny hadn't understood until now why Lindsay was struggling with this one. He rolled onto his back and pulled Lindsay to him. He could feel her belly rest on his and her head on his shoulders as he wrapped his arm around her. His free hand came to rest on their child. Lindsay was quiet as she cried her fears out. Her crying began to subside and she made to sit up.

Danny held her fast and began to speak, "I'm sorry you're sad. Sometimes things get to us, people get to us. You're right—our job is higher risk. I wish more than anything I could tell ya otherwise but I can't. I can tell you that I will spend my life doin' whatever it takes to come home to you every night. We don't get a lot of guarantees in life but I can guarantee that however long we have together we will spend it strengthening our relationship. You're stuck with me Monroe, bad parts and all. Although I promise I will try to remember to hang up my jacket."

Lindsay chuckled and this time when she went to sit up he let her. She leaned over him and kissed his cheek.

"I love you," she said.

He gave her a small smile before replying, "I love you too."

Lindsay laid back down on him. In the silence, as she began drifting to sleep, she heard his stomach growl. She smirked, "No time for dinner huh?"

He grinned sheepishly, "Nah, you know how it can get. I'll just grab a snack after I change out of these clothes but first I'll wait 'til you're asleep."

He felt her smile against his shoulder and within minutes Lindsay was sound asleep. Danny grabbed one of the extra pillows and slid it under her stomach where his body had just been then got up.

As he moved around their apartment winding down his day Danny thought about his conversation with Lindsay. He's spent his life in the kinds of relationships where he could avoid that type of emotional discussion but now he reveled in it. He felt something he couldn't quite name but at least recognized that he never wanted to lose it. He didn't know what the future held for his family but he did know he wasn't going to waste their time together. Unexpectedly the often recited wedding vows filled his head, 'in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, in good times and in bad.'

Danny finally understood those words—and even better, he believed them.

The end.

**Thanks for reading!!!**


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